If I had a penny for:

1. Every vineyard manager who tells me his terroir is unique
2. Every wine consumer who told me screw caps are not good for wine
3. Every sommelier who told me he suggests red wine with red meat
4. Every third person with an accent who claims to be a Sommelier
5. Every second person with a laptop and an internet connection who claims to be a wine writer
6. Every wine snob who tells me how I am not adequately concerned about the rains of '45
7. Every winemaker who claims he knows what the 'quoi' in je-ne-sais-quoi is
8. Every retailer who says that wine variety on the shelves is a wasted idea
9. Every importer who told me that there is no market for high-end wines
10. Every report that says wine is good for your health without providing the fine print that if you don't exercise, anything will kill ya'
11. Every lady who claims to get drunk on Champagne faster than with other wines
12. Every local Indian wine that disappoints either in quality, or price or, both
13. Every wine fool who rants and raves about Wine Spectator points and Robert Parker ratings, choosing his wines by marks and not by taste or "pretty labels"
14. Every hotelier who complains about his squeezed margins even at five times over the reasonable
15. Every winemaker who tells us what to drink with our "Indian cuisine".
16. Every person who drinks the host's wine at a party and then criticizes it
17. Every journalist who asks the expiry date for a wine
18. Every wine article which tries to deconstruct wine but only makes it more complicated
19. Every wine bottle that has been stored improperly in India
20. Every time I nod my head in vain as to no matter how hard I try, I may never manage to change things

...I'd be quite the rich vino. Then, I'd give some away. I'd give a dollar for

1. A wine presentation that's actually funny
2. A wine that tastes so good it makes me cry
3. A consumer who actually gives a damn
4. A winemaker who doesn't rant about heritage, organic responsibilities, boutique
5. A good wine that is also cheap
6. An expensive wine that feels worth the money spent
7. A sensibly priced wine-list in a hotel
8. A wine company that doesn't bore us with their accolades and bottling capacities
9. A European who likes his Aussie or Argentinean wines
10. Anyone who shouts 'yummy' at a tasting
11. Someone who drinks wine simply because they like it
12. People who mispronounce wine names and regions but still try
13. Sommeliers who do not talk about soil, climate and vintage
14. Wine stewards who can pour me the right amount at the right temperature
15. A wine tasting/dinner where people come on time
16. A wine event where guests don't endlessly discuss pool furniture and vacation destinations
17. A wine tasting where no one once mentions structure, tannins, depth of fruit, mid-palate, length and oak integration
18. Every Indian winemaker who is not delusional, or actually has a working nose and palate
19. Every wine critic who actually knows how to improve the wines they put down
20. Every wine lover who sobers up wine snobs at the end of their fists.

Just,

Magan.